What I Need & What I Don't Have

I want a lot of things, who doesn't rite. I want so many things, but wants can be bought or owned or possessed in time and money. The question is, what I need. I need only a few things, but what I need is what I don't have, can't have and never will have. Unfortunately, I'm all alone. I used to have a few, a lil limelight out there, a lil piece of the pie of fame and stuff but all for the reasons which I harbour hatred for now. Now I'm alone. Under the shades of loneliness, far from the high-societal life out there. Everyday is just pain and agony, everyday is green of envy, everyday is fucking crap. Give me one reason that can penetrate me so deep that it leaves a fucking scar to change my perception of why I should not hate people. Every time I love someone be it my family, friends or even one bloody girl and all I get is fucking shit. Every time. Nobody can respect me enough to respect my feelings, my kindness, my thoughts. Nobody has ever loved me back so why should I love. Why? Love is too painful. Don't misunderstand me. I don't hate love or anything but I'm just talking about myself. I'm happy for those whose love are requited or reciprocated. Those who love and being loved, good for you, but I don't share what you people have.