Sworn To Fun, Loyal To None

Just when I thought I had someone with me to catch the moment of romance under the brightly lit skies full of fireworks together, that person leaves me. I just want to experience romantic moments with someone I hold dearly just like everyone else. I envy those people. I tried hard to be the best, to give the best but I guess the best ain't enough. I'm just not the best. Always have to be the one watching them kiss under the moon and fireworks and me in the corner kissing the cigarette butt. Sigh. It's like I'm never there, never existed in anyone's heart, or at least long enough to stay. Why do people have to say they need someone and when I'm there they push me away. Am I not good enough? Yet again, this new year, I'll be alone AGAIN !! for 20 freaking years, not once have I celebrated New Year with someone special. Some people have the love of a good family, some have their special ones. Well I just have me, myself and some cigarettes. Bloody school is making me all boiled up to the head. What is a holiday when you have to go to school, or do school assignments. Cheeses Fries! Cut us some slack, damn fucking school. I'm really fucking close to declaring myself a GSF member and burning my school down. Then it'll be the first polytechnic institute and the first one to be burnt down. _l_